False Validity: Why Jewish Identity Is NOT Up for Debate

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One of the social phenomena I've become

most fascinated by is something I'll

call false validity. It's when we as a

society perpetuate a behavior or idea as

being totally valid and acceptable when

it is in fact absolutely invalid by any

reasonable or moral standard. And we

know it's invalid, but for whatever

reason, we all agree to ignore this

reality and allow the unacceptable

behavior to continue. It's like we've

all been hypnotized to cluck like

chickens, except we haven't been, but

we're clucking anyway and we could just,

you know, stop.

As it pertains to the Jewish world, I

see this phenomenon most manifest as the

false and harmful belief that it is

somehow moral or mandatory or admirable

even to conflate a person's Jewish

identity with one's own negative

feelings about Israel's role in the

Middle East. Put another way, it's the

idea held by millions of people out

there that simply being a Jew is somehow

controversial or political. Well,

needless to say, that's It's

not true. It's contrived. It's wrong.

And we cannot tolerate it anymore. You

can debate an idea, but you can't debate

a person's existence. Do you know what

you call someone who makes aggressively

negative assumptions about an individual

based purely on morally bankrupt

misunderstandings of their group? 

A bigot. A racist.

Now, I've heard the counter to my

assertion of bigotry many times on

social media, and it too is a sham.

Something like, "It's not racist to not

support the genocide of children." Okay,

first of all, no decent human being

supports acts of genocide or the killing

of children. We know this. To pretend

otherwise is to be knowingly

disingenuous because the real goal is

just to spread this 21st century blood

liel and demonize Jews. I say 21st

century because Jews have been dealing

with this a long time. The original

blood libel was the grotesque accusation

during the Middle Ages that Jews were

murdering Christian children in order to

use their blood to bake Passover matzah.

This horrific lie was widely believed

and used for centuries as an excuse to

persecute the demonic Jews. Sound

familiar? It should. Because like all

other elements of anti-Jew hate, blood

libel continues to morph over time into

whatever disgusting accusation will most

rally the masses against the Jewish

minority. That's right. We're demonized

so often and so consistently, we have

our own term for it. Back to bigotry.

Drawing a link of causational

responsibility between any random Jewish

person and whatever has or hasn't

happened in Israel is racist. Does

anyone blame random Chinese Americans

for the very real Chinese imprisonment

and torture and sterilization of over a

million Uyghur Muslims? Of course not.

That would be racist. And most people

don't even know who we Muslims are

because this whole posture is just about

hating Jews, not about a sincere

globally applied principle.

Also, simply displaying some part of

one's Jewish identity is in no way an

indicator of one's feelings about the

Middle East. Lighting Shabbat candles

has nothing to do with the war in Gaza.

Wearing a magendavidid has nothing to do

with the war in Gaza. A bagel shop in

Brooklyn has nothing to do with the war

in Gaza. A social media clip about Jews

and tattoos has nothing to do with the

war in Gaza. We know this. And yet those

who harass Jews in the name of being

anti-Zionist continue to get off

scot-free.

So why is this obviously hollow and

terrible behavior allowed to thrive? Why

is it so pervasive that many, if not

most, Jews believe that to openly

identify with their own natural self is

somehow sensitive or political or making

a statement? Why are we clucking like

chickens when we could just not? We

could just not do that. We could make a

choice and in an instant we could be not

clucking. I'll tell you why. Because we

allow it. We take the path of least

resistance. We allow the anti-Jub bigots

to dictate the rules of the game when we

should be rejecting the entire premise

of the game itself. But we're too

afraid. Most Jews I talk to don't even

really know specifically what it is

they're afraid of. Just that they are.

It's some vague fear of maybe losing

social media acceptance or career

opportunities or maybe physical

violence. I know standing tall as a

Jewish person today can seem hard or

scary, but we can't allow ourselves to

succumb to fear.

Can you think of any major Jewish

figures whose lives have been ruined

because they identified publicly as

Jewish? Is Jerry Seinfeld suddenly not

selling out every theater he walks into?

Is Scooter Braun suddenly not worth

billions of dollars? Is Amy Schumer not

starring in her own TV series? Sure,

Jerry gets heckled like he hasn't been

handling hecklers for 40 years. Sure,

they get smoke on social media. We all

do. But who cares? It has no bearing on

real life. I understand there is a

psychological toll. I have experienced

it. But what do you think is actually

more damaging? the fleeting comments of

random hateful internet strangers or

being so afraid of random hateful

internet strangers that you're

repressing part of your own identity and

going through life as less than your

full authentic self.

And as far as career and relationships

go, yes, you might lose some friends or

some jobs, but if those people are going

to turn on you because you're a Jew,

these are not the friends or the jobs

you want. You deserve better than to

work for someone who doesn't respect

your humanity.

You deserve better friends than a bigot

who puts their own misguided beliefs

about a recent geopolitical conflict

they are not in any way involved with

over your own personal relationship.

Believe me, by shedding these people

from your lives, even if it's painful

now, you're doing yourself a favor. Trim

the fat, baby. Call the haters.

And in the words of Madamorable from

Wicked, the movie of which comes out

this weekend, by the way, it's going to

blow your freaking minds. As one door

closes, another one opens to a person.

Everyone who has come out of the closet

as a Jew ends up with new job

opportunities they wouldn't have

imagined, new friends and supporters and

allies they'd never have met. And man,

I'm telling you this from experience.

Pairing all that positivity and goodness

and solidarity with a complete sense of

self is a total level up in every way

possible. And as for fear of violence,

we all fall prey to what's called the

availability heristic, which is when we

judge the likelihood of an event based

on how easily we're able to recall

recent examples of it with no thought

given to actual statistics or data. How

many people, public figures or everyday

folks, have been physically attacked

around the world for being Jewish since

October 7th? I don't know the answer,

but it's not a lot. Let's generously say

it's a thousand people. That's 0.00001%

of the Jewish population. And I don't

say this to minimize the absolute horror

of these attacks or the very real fear

they inspire, but your odds of being in

that 0.00001% 00001%

are obviously quite low. When in doubt,

let the immutability of math put you at ease.

So, the whole experience of coming out

as Jewish is really kind of like walking

through the wall at platform 9 and 3/4

to get to the Hogwarts Express. You

think you're looking at a painful smash

into a brick wall, but the rest of your

life is waiting for you on the other

side, and it's more than you could have

ever dreamed of. And this goes for any

identity. Being who you are and feeling

connected to that or proud of it or

loving it is not political. Do not allow

anyone to pretend that it is. If someone

has a problem with you loving yourself,

that is their problem, not yours.

When I snap my fingers, you will all

stop clucking.