I Love Jewish Women! What Their Strength Taught Me About Fatherhood

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This is a personal story. If you listen

to episode 27 of this show, you heard me

talk about my struggle with the idea of

God. How despite wanting the comfort of

a higher power, I struggle to deny the

logic and empiricism that make belief so

difficult. But as I said in closing, I

intended to continue that struggle and

indeed I have. I have tried to open

myself up to the presence of something

greater. tried not to chalk up every

moment of potential cosmic alignment to

mere coincidence, but to instead allow

myself to consider that perhaps

something more may be of foot. Something

else you've heard me talk about if

you've been following along is how I've

never celebrated the holiday of Shàuote.

In fact, I didn't really know what it

was beyond involving the harvest and

dairy delights. My guest Sarahwitz said

it was her favorite holiday, and I

thought, huh, that's interesting. I

should look into that. I delivered a

monologue about going full Jew and have

been looking for ways to continue that

in my own life, like maybe finally

learning what shaveote is all about. I

asked Tessa Vexler and Eden Yadagar what

their favorite holiday is and they said

Shaveote. I said that's it. I'm doing

it. So when prepping for my episode with

Chris Care's nun, I finally did the

research and at last came to understand

how it's not just an important holiday

but is in many ways the important

holiday. It's the anniversary of the

moment when God made his covenant with

the Israelites at Mount Si, offering

them the laws, stories, and customs that

would transform a ragtag group of

escaped slaves into a nation. It's the

moment when the Jewish people became the

Jewish people. How the hell was I

sleeping on that?

Numerous email newsletters I subscribed

to in the past year mentioned Shàuote,

including one that quoted the Zohar, the

primary cabalistic text, saying, "The

voice of Hashem continues to resonate

from Sinai, reaching each soul according

to its capacity." Meaning, each person

continues to receive the voice of God in

their own way, a personalized living

revelation. I don't know, could be

coincidence, but does kind of sound like

exactly what I'm looking to hear, right?

On Dan Senor's podcast, Rachel Goldberg

Poland waxed philosophic about Shàuote,

reminding me that this is when we read

the book of Ruth, the story of the first

convert, the first Jew by choice, a

woman so full of honor and strength, she

would go on to become the matriarch of

the family that would birth the great

King David only three generations later,

which of course spoke to me as my own

wife. weekly shout out to Courtney made

the same astonishingly brave choice for

which I am forever grateful and you

should be too for as I like to say

Courtney's the best thing to happen to

the Jewish people since the Ten

Commandments and her regal presence is

already bearing fruit for our Jewish

community at home in which she is an

admired leader and in our three children

who are each a credit to their amazing

mother.

three children. Still getting used to

saying that because after months of

walking an invisible road that seemed to

lay itself out beneath my feet, my

youngest daughter, Giana Leora, was born

just a few days ago on Shàuote. I didn't

get the chance to stay up all night

studying Torah because I was busy

studying my daughter's face, which in a

way is the same thing. A living

continuation of that covenant made at

Sinai. A promise fulfilled. Another star

in the brilliant Jewish sky. Ask me what

my favorite holiday is. Now then there's

Giana's Hebrew name, which I'd already

decided weeks before her birth.

Typically, I'd save it as a surprise for

her naming ceremony, but Courtney

already told everyone on planet Earth

her English name months ago, so I

figured what the hell. Even before being

born on the birthday of the Jewish

people, her name was to be Isa.

Israel lives. How's that for cosmic

alignment?

And as I looked at my daughter,

processing the deep meaning of her name

and her very existence, another thought

popped into my head, one I've had over

and over again in the months since

launching this podcast. I've had the

privilege to visit and speak to a dozen

Jewish communities across the world this

year. And without fail, I have observed

that in each and every place, the soul,

the engine, the doers and makers and

shapers and builders of every one of

these communities are Jewish women. The

CEOs, the presidents, the rabbis, a lot

of these are Jewish men, and they're

amazing. And I'm sure there's a whole

discussion we could have about that. But

the people creating the programming,

raising the money, planning the events,

writing the curriculums, heading the

schools, running the charities, leading

the campus groups, teaching our

children, charting the course that keeps

the Jewish people alive are women. And

there's usually one gay genzer doing

social media and a millennial doing tech

stuff. Shout out to those guys. The

Jewish communal world is run by women.

I've seen it in LA, in Cleveland, in

Toronto, in Atlanta, in New York City. I

saw it in Venice, Italy, home of the

world's first Jewish ghetto, where

today's Venice Kabad and only kosher

restaurant exist. Both of which are run

by the Rebbitson, who on the strength of

her energy and commitment has built a

dynamic and radiant community within the

very bricks once meant to suppress our

luminosity.

My own family is overflowing with

amazing Jewish women. From my sisters to

my aunts to my cousins, educators, lay

leaders, board members, temple

presidents, and then of course there's

my mom, who we all know is the goat. But

we'll get into that more in a couple

episodes. Even this podcast outside the

production company I partner with, every

single individual hire on the core team

is a Jewish woman. Eight of them, if you

include my publicist and fiscal sponsor,

too. No wonder then that I am in awe of

and indebted to Jewish women. Smart,

capable professionals who could work in

any number of fields, but instead for

whatever reason, have put the rest of us

on their backs and devoted themselves to

the betterment and continuation of our

people beyond just its religious life

and are keeping the Jewish community

alive. So, back to my daughter. In true

Telmudic fashion, let's look at her name

again. Israel, Israel lives, but female.

The lifeblood of the Jewish people is

women. And now I'm blessed to be father

to two of them. And so, as I reflect on

my own journey to Shàuote, to my own

personal living revelation, I wonder if

maybe the path I've been led to walk

down isn't in fact about me at all.

Maybe it's about marrying my Ruth,

bringing her kick-ass genes into the

bloodline, and raising the Jewish

daughters who will bring future glory to

our people. Maybe I believe in God.

Maybe I don't, but I know I believe in

Jewish women, and I'll do my very best

to raise two of them to be the kind of

leaders who make our people proud.

That is, to hopefully be just like all of you.